Seattle's Got No Balls -- For Snow Removal

I apologize ahead of time for posting a non-sports related topic on a sports blog, but this is a pressing matter and all the Seattle teams still suck. It's now been five days since the last and biggest in a series of snowstorms here, and side streets are still more rutted than a ranch road. Granted, it doesn't snow much here, but the city has been undone by more than its inexperience dealing with the "white stuff." We're also suffering from a typical case of Seattle pansiness.

The Times got to the heart of the matter earlier this week in this article, and the question still remains: why doesn't the city use salt on the roads? Amazingly, Seattle equips its 27 snowplows with rubber blades, purposely trying to pack things down. (Portland has about 50 plows --another transportation realm where the Rose City beats us.) So let me get this straight: you're sending out snow PLOWS that you know are just going to pack down the snow, and you're happy with that? Really? That's like a coach announcing before a game that he just wants his team not to get blown out: "Look, we're going to give almost our all -- not 110%, but maybe 68% -- and I hope we just lose by 10 points," he would go on to say.

Salt is used with much success in other parts of the country, but the city refuses to use it because it can harm salmon. Again, let me get this straight: salt might run off into streams that drain into Puget Sound. Then the salmon would be like, "Hey, is that salt that I taste? Damn, I'm swimming back to the ocean, where it's less...um...salty." But the state DOT uses salt and the city uses sand and chemical de-icer. So what is gained here? I'm sure the salmon love the chemicals from the de-icer. And at least Seattle can say Puget Sound is no brinier because of the Emerald City -- that's all the state's salt degrading the pristine waters of the Sound.

Then there's this article positing that sand might be more harmful to fish than salt. So Seattle's environmental sensibility might not just be ridiculous in this case, but also flat-out wrong. Then Mayor Greg Nickels has the gall to give the city a grade of "B" in its efforts to clear the roads. I'd love to see the road leading to his house, because he clearly doesn't live on my street.

The streets are so bad, KING 5 had to Get Jesse! on the case. What's enlightening about this piece (besides the fact Jesse is about to have an aneurysm) is that you need to call the city to request a plow to clear your street. A freaking request? Isn't keeping streets clear part of the city's job? Last I checked, I didn't have to call Seattle to pick up my garbage, although at this point maybe I do. I suppose I should also request to have electricity in my apartment, and water in my toilet.

Look, it's not like you'd have to use salt in Seattle 20 times a winter. If they'd spread it around several times the last week, we'd be out of this mess and probably wouldn't have another salt-requiring storm again for 10 years. Even more maddening is that the city actually has salt on hand, but won't use it. And let's not make this out like only anti-environmental red states use animal-killing salt. Such blue enclaves as New York, Vermont and Maine use salt with impunity and success, and my travels there have been smoother because of it. Granted, I wouldn't drive my old '57 Chevy on a salt-treated road, but that's only because I don't have chains that fit the whitewalls.

Seattle makes a lot of noise about being a world-class city, and it's obviously got a lot going for it. But it has absolutely fallen down on the job, and we're all falling on our asses because of it. But no matter, this will take care of itself. The snow is already turning to rain and that will wash all of this away. But not before we get flooded streets from melting snow left over by a half-assed cleanup made even more impotent by misplaced priorities.

We Hate '08

We all know 2008 was a terrible sports year here, but this article by Seattle-based ESPN.com writer Jim Caple really brings it home and lets the rest of the country in on our misery. A combined 65-124 record combined among the Mariners, Seahawks and Huskies, 3 coaches or managers fired and 1 departed team only begin to tell the story. Bring on 2009, because it can only get better.

Seattle's Got (Snow)Balls

Our gate assignment changed three times and the flight was 90 minutes late. Aside from that, everything was great. So what was the reaction when we landed? Applause, of course. Such was the feeling of amazement when we touched down at Sea-Tac Sunday night. Given how much snow was on the runway and how heavily it was snowing at the time, I think everyone on our plane was incredulous we even landed. A visit to the terminal and a tour of a paralyzed city only confirmed that.

I'd spent the weekend in sun-dappled Tucson, where highs hung out in the mid-60s. But I kept a jealous eye on the weather in Seattle. Jealous, because I'm a geek for snow, or maybe just a geek. I barely missed a snowstorm as I flew out on Thursday morning and I alighted late for the meat of Sunday's event as well -- and I regretted both. I always got excited for snow when I was growing up in New York and snow is rare enough in Seattle. This storm shows how rare.

Looking for ground truth, I checked out highlights of the Seahawks-Jets game from a bar at the Salt Lake City airport during my layover. Yup, it was snowing. But even though the Seahawks beat Brett Favre on the frozen tundra of Qwest Field, at least one Jet got a victory of sorts. Seattle's sports scene is so lame that even when fans win, they lose.

When I got off the plane, I felt I had stepped into Port Authority or Penn Station. People were sleeping on any piece of floor they could find. Loads of cancelled flights threatened to condemn travelers to a scene out of one the lesser-known carols: "Christmas at Sea-Tac." At the baggage claim, orphaned luggage beckoned.

I have a thing about trying to preserve snow on my car as long as possible. One time while living in Maine, I kept snow on the roof of my Subaru for three straight weeks, diligently tending to the base like a ski area groomer. When the last piece of frozen crust flew off while I sped down the Maine Turnpike, a piece of me went with it. So I had high hopes when I returned to my car at Sea-Tac. I wasn't disappointed. Heavy snow and strong winds had created the kind of cornices I'd only seen on exposed mountain ledges. I waved off the broom-wielding parking attendant and brushed off the equivalent of eyeholes on my windshield.

Snow seems to bring back long-ago associations better than most phenomena, so when I pulled onto the snow-packed road, I felt I was back in New York or Maine. Plows had clearly been through, but the road surface didn't appear to be treated with anything (unlike in the Northeast, where salt successfully wages battle against snow and ice). A few cars rattled by with chains, a surprising sight and sound outside the mountains. But State Route 99 did its best impression of Stevens Pass; the dreaded "compact snow and ice" meant my tires never touched ground. It was a ghostly drive home, and what few cars I saw inched along. A pickup truck sat abandoned along the side of the road.

I think it would have taken at least twice as much snow as this to lay low other northern cities. It's nice that we have creative people who make snowpeople like the one pictured above, but why can't they deal with snow here? We don't live in Miami, and snow is always just a mountain trip away. But apparently Armageddon has arrived and its calling card is white. I hope we survive.

If going from Tucson to snow wasn't enough, I got other hints my trip was over. As if to say that I wouldn't be needing my clubs any more, the airline broke the kickstand on my golf bag. But at least it was a gradual comedown from highs in the 60s to chilly Seattle; the temperature in my apartment when I returned was 52 degrees.

Huskies Football: Coming Soon to a Theater Near You

UW has released a video to get us pumped up for the new era of Huskies football. It's your basic action-movie trailer: fast cuts, speeding graphics, and a shrieking orchestral score only slightly less bombastic than Carmina Burana.

The quote from Sarkisian is pretty good, though maybe they could've done a bit more judicious editing so he didn't start by saying: "This is 2008." Well, yes. It is.

What do you think, fellow SGBers? Are you ready for some non-losing football?

Hi, I'm Steve

You can't judge a coach's ability by his first press conference, but if Steve Sarkisian's initial media meet-and-greet is any indication, he realizes the importance of public relations. At least on TV, the event had the feel of a pep rally, and fans packed the Don James Center. Sarkisian hit all the right notes, honoring UW's past glory -- including the school's defeat of BYU in 1996, when Sarkisian himself was sacked 8 times -- while pumping up supporters for a bright future.

The 34-year-old Sarkisian oozed passion and energy, even as he lapsed into oxymoronic coachspeak (example: when asked how long it would take to turn the program around, Sarkisian said, "It's going to take some time, but that doesn't mean it can't happen fast." Huh?). But what you took away from this stagecraft was that UW has a young guy who will be a dogged recruiter ("The top players in this state should never leave") and will relate to fans. The loudest applause came when Sarkisian announced he would open up practices to the public and the media, something Tyrone Willingham was criticized for not doing. Sarkisian apparently learned a few tricks from Pete Carroll's PR manual and he knows how not to be Willingham.

What other Pac-10 schools may be privately applauding is that Sarkisian will continue to call plays for UW. Some USC fans bashed his play-calling while urging him to be fired. Still, he preached protecting Jake Locker better and intimated that he'd like his QB to run less and pass accurately more. Sarkisian has worked with some of the best college quarterbacks in recent years, so Locker should benefit from his new coach's experience.

Sarkisian will continue working for USC through the Rose Bowl, then take the reins here on January 2nd. It will be months before he has a chance to win a game for UW, but Sarkisian already appears to have won over many fans. Unlike his predecessor, Sarkisian seems to realize the importance of first impressions and how big a role PR plays in a job like this.

Sarkisian, Sarkisian: He's Our Man!

Well, apparently the search is over and UW's hire is a guy who was barely mentioned the last few weeks. That could mean Steve Sarkisian was way down on Washington's list or the administration was really good at employing red herrings. Either way, it sounds as if he aced the interview. According to Bob Condotta of the Times, "One source said (UW athletic director Scott) Woodward was blown away by Sarkisian's interview and decided to go with a young, energetic face to take over for the fired Tyrone Willingham."

Here's what we do know: Sarkisian is the 34-year-old offensive coordinator for USC, and is also reportedly USC's recruiting coordinator. The hire is getting mixed reviews on one Husky blog, which is natural when you bring in a relatively unkown quantity like Sarkisian. On its face, hiring a kid with no head-coaching experience smacks of a mid-major or the Oakland Raiders. Then again, some point out, Bob Stoops was never a head man before Oklahoma lured him away from Florida.

Consider several points here that could make this a very good get. If Sarkisian has as much to do with recruiting as his title implies, then UW should welcome him with open arms. USC has talent to burn every year, although that's more about Pete Carroll than Steve Sarkisian. (And this year SC's defense is more dominant than its offense.) Still, Sarkisian had to have made some solid California recruiting connections that he can bring here.

Sarkisian also no doubt had a hand in developing former Heisman winners Carson Palmer and Matt Leinart, since he was twice quarterbacks coach at USC (sandwiched around a year with the Raiders). He is a former QB himself and led BYU to a 14-1 record in 1996 (who plays a 15-game season?), with the only loss, ironically, against UW. This hire had to be made with Jake Locker in mind, who would be clapping at this news if he didn't have a broken thumb.

Sarkisian comes from good coaching stock, having worked under Carroll and former USC offensive coordinator (and current UCLA OC) Norm Chow. Chow is known as an offensive genius and is probably the best coach never to get a head job. He was also Sarkisian's offensive coordinator at BYU and hired him at USC in 2001. What is troubling here, though, is that Sarkisian and Chow apparently haven't spoken in four years. This LA Times article intimates that Sarkisian helped push Chow out the door in 2005, although Carroll seems to be at least as culpable for this as Sarkisian. Lack of ambition seems not to be an issue with young Sark.

On the other hand, some in Trojan Nation had become disenchanted with Sarkisian's playcalling. This article shows surprising fan vitriol against Sarkisian's abilities, especially compared to Chow's. Perhaps Lady Dice could weigh in on this.

With this hire, UW officials had to go in the opposite direction of a Tyrone Willingham, and they did. In getting a young energetic coach, the school is hoping to fire up an unhappy and shrinking fan base. Despite his youth, he's a guy who already has a recruiting track record and success working with quarterbacks, the position most crucial to UW's potential success. From afar, he seems barely indistinguishable from another potential UW coaching candidate: Lane Kiffin, now the head guy at Tennessee. Of course, some are already grumbling that Washington didn't get a high-profile head coach with previous success, a la Mike Leach; what about that big splash UW was supposed to make? Of course, nobody is going to please everybody, and as with any decision that's hours old, we'll just have to wait and see what happens. But either way, it's a gutsy move on UW's part, with all the risks and potential rewards that come with it.

Is It Over?

ESPN says USC's Steve Sarkisian will be the UW's next coach.

Fetch, take it away!

A Tale of Two Searches

What do shadowy airport sightings, parking attendants and anonymous sources have in common? They've been the public face of UW's search for a new football coach. We knew Fresno State's Pat Hill and Texas Tech's Mike Leach interviewed for the job because of leaks. Initially we found out Hill was on his way to Seattle because two parking attendants said they saw Hill's car at the Fresno airport.

Granted, Sunshine Laws don't apply to coaching searches. Administrations and front offices don't have to tell the public anything along the way, and most don't. So that's what makes Mariners Jack the GM unique. He gave almost daily updates on who he was interviewing for the manager's job and then allowed them to talk to the media as well. Of course, he's not above making Captain Obvious statements like this (referring to possibly trading Adrian Beltre and JJ Putz): "I'm in no mood to give anyone away. I'm in the mood to improve this ballclub." But following Bill Bavasi, who combined KGB-like secrecy with FEMA-like ineptitude, at least Jack the GM is reaching out to a fan base that badly needs a hug.

Two coaching searches for two crummy teams, done in two totally different fashions. I'm not surprised by UW's approach, but the Mariners' path shows more accountability and respect for fans. UW could take a page from the Mariners, and how often have we been able to say the M's are worth imitating?