UW's Good, Bad and Ugly, or, How Two Out of Three Ain't Bad

Wow, that sucked. Washington's first game of the rest of Ty Willingham's coaching life and they produce this? We know that Oregon is a top-25 team and this was the only conference matchup of any BCS schools on a day when most teams gorged on cupcakes. And it helped make for a really ugly day of football in Seattle, as WSU got thumped 39-13 by Oklahoma State at Qwest Field. But 44-10? Really? UW face-planted with a much louder thud than anyone expected, and it could set the tone for things to get really ugly around Montlake. But a measure of patience is urged. 

For all the talk of how this team would be different, the Huskies did just about everything the same from their hapless 4-9 campaign of last year. The offensive line didn't or couldn't block, and UW averaged a paltry 2.2 yards on 43 rushes. To call the O-line sieve-like is to disrespect sieves everywhere. The lack of protection forced Jack Locker to run for his life like Fran Tarkenton in an old NFL Films reel. For Locker to become Tim Tebow West, he needs to stay upright. But if the protection against Oregon is any indication, he will spend way too much time in the scrum this year. Also, Locker's accuracy continues to be an issue; he completed only 12 of 28 passes. However, he's not the problem here, but he will figure prominently in the solution, if there is one.  

The defense came out in a snazzy new 3-3-5 alignment, but often opted not to tackle. One of the results (or three): it gave up three touchdowns of 25 yards or more. And this wasn't against the juggernaut offense of Dennis Dixon and Johnathan Stewart. Injuries forced the Ducks to resort to their third- and fourth-string quarterbacks in the second half. You might recall that was the half in which Oregon pulled away, outscoring UW 30-0. If ever there was a time to catch Oregon in a bit of lull, this was it. Consider the opportunity squandered. 

But acknowledge one glaring fact: UW is a young team. 24 true or redshirt freshmen traveled to Eugene. They represent a potentially bright future, coming from two heralded recruiting classes. But they have to grow up fast. BYU and Oklahoma come calling the next two games and these Husky pups are playing for their coach's neck. The specter of 0-3 is staring them in the face and the calls for Willingham's dismissal will grow louder.

It's kind of funny to think that if Coach Ty had just scheduled, let's say, Idaho and Louisiana Tech as non-conference foes the next two weeks, he'd be fine. Dust yourself off after the Oregon debacle, crush a couple of tomato cans, and you're 2-1 going into the meat of conference play. Supporters just want wins, and it doesn't matter who they're against. At the end of the season, fans will call "early-season victories against inferior opponents" by a shorter name: wins. At any rate, give Willingham integrity points for scheduling tough non-Pac-10 teams. Unfortunately, UW fans probably won't hear that argument over the din of calls for his head. Washington should feel lucky to have Willingham as its coach, and doubly fortunate that Rick Neuheisel's baggage and chest-thumping are someone else's problems. But if things don't change soon, boosters will run him out of town. Then -- a la Charlie Weis' 19-6 record in his first two years at Notre Dame after Willingham's ouster there -- another coach will swoop in and get the credit for leading Ty's talented recruits to brighter times. And then fans will know that they were right, right? 

Flush With Bowl Ideas

Sure, remember the Alamo, but also don't forget your Capital One card, because that International flight for your Holiday in the Music City or Las Vegas will mean Independence from your money as you feast on Chick fil-A and Papa Johns pizza. I won't incorporate every one of the 34 NCAA bowl games into this entry, but everyone knows college football's postseason is larded with meaningless contests. Already, more than half the Division I schools (or whatever they're referred to now) get affirmation for craptastically mediocre seasons. New this year to fat guys with no lives: the St. Petersburg Bowl and the Congressional Bowl, which doesn't appear to have a website yet. So who says we need a 35th bowl game? (Slowly raising my hand) Me.

There's now talk of Seattle hosting a bowl game at Qwest Field. The hope is it would be a tie-in with the Pac-10, allowing a record 12th team from the conference to make the postseason. Hey, the Huskies need all the help they can get. And let's not forget that Seattle is tradition-rich in this arena. Who can forget that the Seattle Bowl ruled this town for two years earlier this century: in 2001, Georgia Tech bested Stanford, sending Ty Willingham skulking off to South Bend on a losing note. In '02, a stacked Wake Forest club routed Oregon. The following day, UW made its last bowl game to date, losing to Purdue in the Sun Bowl. It's unacceptable that we've been Bowl-less in Seattle for nearly six years.

Seattle needs some athletic civic pride these days following the loss of the Sonics. If backwaters like Mobile, Shreveport and Atlanta can host games, why not Seattle? But first, we're going to need some corporate sponsors. You know, the way the Independence Bowl (in Shreveport, of course) landed a title sponsor in the early '90s to create the best bowl name ever: the Poulan/Weed Eater Independence Bowl.

Luckily, I've been thinking about this and have some ideas for local tie-ins. Wallingford will be a sexy debutante on the college football scene when we introduce The High-Maintenance Bitch Seattle Bowl. Or perhaps one of the region's many microbrews would want to get in the fray to promote its product among college students. The Seattle Bowl Brought To You By The Flying Pig Brewery rolls off the tongue. Cross-promotional jokes about how the Huskies won't make this bowl until porcine creatures take to the skies are also acceptable here. Of course, Seattle is the Emerald City, so why not work that into the title? Oh sorry, that's already been taken.

Interim Messiah

Brett Favre spent the past month turning himself from national treasure into knackered turd. Among the less noted consequences of his tantrum: the game of musical chairs to decide who gets to occupy Brett’s old throne as Classiest Class Act in the great variety show of classy white guys. And the winner is Seattle’s own Mike Holmgren, the most graceful retiree-in-waiting since Jerome Bettis.

Here’s how the story goes: Holmgren took a week off after last season to think carefully about his future. As a good family man, he let his wife think some about it too. And he told the team that he and Kathy had decided he was going to coach one more year (which happens to be the last year of the contract that makes him the highest paid coach in the NFL, at $8 million per season). Then he’d move along.

He didn’t make threats. He didn’t make the team wait. And he’s giving them enough time to manage an easy transition to the Jim Mora regime. As if all that wasn’t enough class, Holmgren made a point of saying he didn’t want his final campaign to be a “farewell tour.” What a guy! He agreed to go ahead and coach out his lucrative contract, and then he not only didn’t ask for but specifically rejected the idea (that nobody suggested) of a farewell tour!

Even before Brett shat the bed, Holmgren was drowning in praise (though surely he’s too classy a guy to have enjoyed the mass fellatio). Seahawks president Tim Ruskell said Holmgren’s classy decision would allow the team “to be non-chaotic in the sports world, which is kind of rare. We all know about the elongated processes and the back-stabbings—some of the things, the ugly things, that can go on. Well, we’re not going to have that and he doesn’t want that.” Mad props, Mike, for not wanting to stab anybody in the back!

Mora, by the way, has fit right in. When he got the news that he was the guy, he was “subdued” and seemed more interested in “making this a special season for Holmgren,” not that it’s a farewell tour or anything.

Here is the problem: Even if you’re inclined to agree that Holmgren is a good Christian who handles all his business with grace and aplomb, the year the Seahawks are about to spend in purgatory is not good for the team.

The future belongs to Mora. And the future could be now. But it won’t be, because Holmgren, the past, is still now. Even though Mora and Holmgren are simpatico, Mora's not going to be a Holmgren copycat who happens to look less like Andy Reid. He’s going to point the team in new directions. He’s already been a head coach. It’s not as if Holmgren has to blow his nose for him. He has ideas. But they don’t count until next season. THEN they count.

In the meantime, the Seahawks spent another year drafting Holmgren’s players. They’ll spend another year learning Holmgren’s schemes. And they’ll spend another year building relationships with Holmgren’s coaches.

Perhaps the team is operating under the illusion that this will be another Super Bowl year. If it is, I’ll get a Brett Favre sleeve-tattoo up and down my golden left arm. Since the Super Bowl isn’t happening, this year will actually be a wasted year, a year stuck in neutral, a year of wasting guys’ talent instead of using it to build Jim Mora’s team, a team with real title hopes.

Can I Get a Turtleneck?

This is rich. The Mariners kabuki theater gets even stranger. One of the biggest busts on the club calls out his teammates to the media for not trying hard enough. If you haven't heard, Carlos Silva blew a gasket after the M's dropped a 5-3 decision to the Rays Friday night. Said the portly righty:

Maybe half of the team wants to do the best they can. Take the starting rotation...every time we cross that line, we want to do our best. No matter how many games we are behind. But maybe half of the team doesn't have that mentality. They are only thinking of finishing strong. And to put up their numbers. That's great, but that affects us. As a team, that doesn't work out.

Hey Carlos, maybe it's not so bad to think about numbers. This isn't basketball, where a ballhog hoisting 30 shots will force his four other teammates to just stand around. But hits are hits, and the rising tide of more hits raises all boats. Perhaps it wouldn't hurt Silva to think about his own numbers. Tagged with the loss, Silva ran his record to 4-13 with a 5.93 ERA. Then again, what's his motivation, given that he's less than a quarter of the way through a bloated $48 million guaranteed contract the Mariners lavished on him in the offseason.

Then Silva went medieval on us. Reprising Rickey Henderson, he referred to himself and his nickname in the third person: "Maybe Chief has to go and grab somebody from his neck and throw him into the wall and something's going to change. I've very close to doing that, so write that down." Yes, I am.

Look, it's great to be fiery and all that. But what kind of locker-room cred does Carlos Freaking Silva have? His record, ERA, contract and screed to the media can only make him a pariah in the clubhouse. Apparently, this kind of public outspokenness got him in trouble in Minnesota. During this outburst, Felix Hernandez and Jarrod Washburn were standing nearby and didn't make a peep. Chief, maybe you should let your pitching do the talking before verbally mouthing off and grabbing people from the neck.

It's Never Too Late

Can I get an altogether now, "It's about time!" Finally, the Mariners' Cutting-Our-Losses Department is getting some sac. The latest evidence comes from the release of designated "hitter" Jose Vidro. A few of his teammates feigned dismay because he had picked it up since the All-Star break. But Vidro was still the league-worst stick at his position, compiling a .234 average, with 7 homers and 45 RBI. He was designated for assignment, which means the team has 10 days to trade or release him. It would be great if the M's could get something in return, but either way, this is addition by subtraction. Wladimir Balentien has been hitting the cover off the ball in Tacoma, and will take Vidro's place. The M's collective weight is now a little less dead.

The Mariners also sent Brandon Morrow down to Tacoma to start becoming a starter. This is a smart move too. Number one draft picks aren't groomed to be middle relievers, and with JJ Putz getting healthier, the closer role isn't his for the taking. The hope is that Morrow's anticipated transformation will help fans forget about the M's snub of local boy Tim Lincecum. So far so good: in his first start for the Rainiers, Morrow threw one and two-thirds scoreless innings before reaching his pitch count of 35.

Meanwhile, is Raul Ibanez fixin' for a post-trading-deadline deal? It looks as such, with his team-record 14 RBI in his last three games. Maybe it's not too late to deal him and/or Jarrod Washburn.

The Mariners' starting lineup Tuesday night featured 4 players who started the season at AAA. The 8-7 win over the Twins notwithstanding, the M's results will probably get uglier before they get prettier, but turning the roster over like this is the right thing to do. And it's never too late to do the right thing. Miguel Cairo, I'm looking in your direction.