Do what comes naturally....

The Mariners suck, but all is not lost. Not yet. We still have one more thing to root for. It's something more realistic than our preseason expectations for the team.

They are one game ahead in the race for baseball's worst record and the perk that comes with it. This year's prize is Stephen Strasburg, a hard-throwing righty from San Diego State. His stats are staggering. 11-3, 1.57 ERA, 133Ks and 16BBs in 97.1 innings. He carried a no-hitter into the 7th at the Olympics against the Dutch (Yes, I know it's the Dutch) and struck out 23 batters in a game earlier this year.

Drafts in baseball are more of a gamble than in other sports, but this kid is very intriguing. (He throws really hard so there is the possibility of the Mariners putting him in the bullpen for two years and delay his development into being a starter.)

The competition for Strasburg is the Washington Nationals, who gets the tie-breaker advantage because they sucked more last year. The (G)Nats have one more win than the Mariners, who are doing their part with 12 straight losses. The Nats, losers of five straight, close the season with the Marlins at home and the Phillies on the road while the Mariners wrap up with the Angels and Oakland at home.

So, let's root for the Mariners to do what comes naturally to them.

Welcome Back K-Rob

I guess it shows how dire the Seahawks' situation is. Excitement is building over the re-signing of a former first-round draft choice who washed out in a sea of booze and bad behavior. But here Seattle is welcoming Koren Robinson back into the fold. No doubt he's a talented guy; before he hit the skids, Robinson put up nice numbers in his sophomore season of 2002: 78 catches, 1,240 yards and 5 TDs. But Mike Holmgren eventually tired of his antics and released Robinson after the '04 season. He caught on with the Vikings and made the Pro Bowl as a returner in '05, but then had a DUI there and was cut again. However, Robinson says he's been sober for two years, despite spending most of that time in Green Bay, a place Bill Simmons noted (in a September 15, 2006 column) might not have been the best fit for him:

The Packers were crushed at home by Chicago, then decided it would be a good
idea to sign Koren Robinson ... a guy who's struggled with drinking problems
over the course of his career. Now he gets to live in a city where there's
nothing to do, there's no black people and everyone loves to drink and eat
bad food? Is this signing sponsored by Bad Idea Jeans? Normally I wear
protection, but then I thought, "When am I gonna make it back to Haiti?"

Seriously, I hope the guy has kicked his habit. Professionally, there's no doubt he can contribute to the team, and soon. The Hawks have more injured wide receivers than most teams have on a roster: Deion Branch, Nate Burleson, Bobby Engram, Logan Payne, Seneca Wallace, Ben Obomanu and Paul Skansi. Seattle also acquired Keary Colbert, who has been generally underwhelming since coming out of USC. But throwing to two guys with some experience is preferable to throwing it to...well, whoever Matt Hasselbeck has been trying to throw to. Through two games, he's completed fewer than half his passes and he may have a more serious back problem than he's letting on. Robinson's signing came with Hasselbeck's blessing.

But the Seahawks' problems go far beyond the passing game. Their defense, thought to be stout coming into the season, was gashed by the 49ers in their 33-30 overtime loss. They couldn't stop or contain dangerous UC-Davis product J.T. O'Sullivan. In the process, he became the first Niners passer to throw for 300+ yards in four years (somewhere Tim Rattay is sticking pins in his J.T. O'Sullivan doll). The D also squandered a 14-point lead and couldn't get the stops they needed. Way to waste an 8-sack day.

What the Seahawks did find in this game is a ground attack. Julius Jones rushed for 127 yards, Leonard Weaver had a few good runs and T.J. Duckett bulled his way into the end zone in a most un-Shaun-Alexander-like fashion. Plus, Seattle plays in the Sun Belt Conference of the NFL. They should get healthy this weekend on the Rams, who at this point probably couldn't beat their former cross-town rival, the USC Trojans.

Still, as Mike Holmgren is about to leave Seattle, there may be a changing of the guard in the NFC West. This is roughly the 18th straight year pundits have predicted the Cardinals would finally rise from the ashes, but it might REALLY be happening in Phoenix this time. They're 2-0, Kurt Warner had a perfect passer rating against the Dolphins and the defense looks good.

The Seahawks haven't had to look up in the standings in years, so this is new for most of the team. It's not panic time, but in his last season can Holmgren adapt to what's happening? Can he emphasize the running game over the West Coast tendency to pass, at least until reinforcements in the wide receiver corps arrive? Can future coach Jim Mora get the defense to buckle down? Can those two get along enough and unite the team? If not, it's going to take a lot more than K-Rob to turn things around.

The Worst Is Over

A national championship contender from a tradion-steeped Midwestern program visits the West Coast, in what turns out to be a blowout. USC-Ohio State? Of course not. We're talking about a battle played deep in that game's shadows, surely seen by dozens of viewers on ESPN. They saw Oklahoma ruin a beautiful afternoon at Husky Stadium, crushing Washington 55-14. UW's same old problems cropped up: poor tackling, dropped and airmailed passes and a frightening 591 yards given up. Now the Huskies are 0-3 and staring at the abyss, with chants for the coach's head growing louder. But really, this is a script anyone could have seen coming, so let's not get rash.

I heard a radio caller on the Huskies postgame show say that the Huskies were more poorly coached than mighty Bellevue in their victory over Bothell. That's Bellevue High School. Really, is this what things are coming to? Now "fans" are calling in to say Tyrone Willingham couldn't even outclass his opposite number on a high school sideline? People need to get a goddamn grip.

This is where we step away from the ledge. Everyone knew the Huskies' first three games were an unholy trilogy that would probably leave them winless. Those three opponents -- Oregon, BYU, and Oklahoma -- are ranked 17, 14 and 2, respectively. Yes, UW took a step back after last week's hearbreaker, but OU is going to make a lot of teams look foolish this year. And if it's possible for a team to take refuge in its conference schedule -- because it's so much easier than its non-conference slate -- then the Huskies can be that team.

UW has a bye week, then plays three of its next four games at home: Stanford, at Arizona, Oregon State and Notre Dame. All of those are winnable. Suddenly, the Pac-10 looks very weak. The conference went 3-7 against non-league foes on Saturday, lowlighted by inexplicable losses by Cal-Berkeley to Maryland, Arizona State to UNLV and Arizona to New Mexico. UCLA, thought to be resurgent under Ricky Neuheisel after an upset of Tennessee, got whacked by 59 points to a BYU team UW took to overtime last weekend -- oh sorry, I forgot. Aside from USC and Oregon, the Pac-10 now appears filled with teases, have-nots and never-will-be's.

Conventional wisdom said Willingham needed to make a bowl this year to save his job. So UW would have to go 6-3 onward to get there. That looks unlikely, but fans need to use a different ruler to measure success from here on out. Let's see how hard this young team plays for its coach. If they still put up a fight and are consistently competitive, then Willingham deserves a chance to keep coaching his talented charges. If they roll over and die and go 0-12, then we'll talk. But if that happens, impatience dictates that Willingham would be long gone by then.

Bill Simmons Gets It Backwards

From his reader mailbag:

Q: Brady's out. That really sucks. But it could be worse -- you could
be a Seattle sports fan. Let me break it down for you: The Mariners
are struggling through one of their worst seasons ever. Our Sonics,
the only team to win a professional title in Seattle, moved the team
to Okla-friggin-homa and stuck us with the Storm. And the Seahawks --
in Holmgren's final year, mind you -- are now without their TOP FOUR
RECEIVERS! Imagine losing Moss, Welker, Gaffney AND Kelley Washington.
Plus our quarterback is having back problems (including rumors of
bulging discs), and our best running back left last week's game with
an injury. Of course, a 6-10 record might win our division, which
means we get to lose in Round 1. Oh, and the travesty that was the
excessive celebration call on Washington's Jake Locker. But on the
bright side … well, I give up. Be thankful you don't live in Seattle.
-- Dan Gomez, Seattle

SG: I have to say, that made me feel a little better. Maybe the good
people of Seattle should form an organization called "It Could Be
Worse," in which they send e-mails to suddenly traumatized sports fans
from other cities to talk them off the ledge.

He's got it precisely backwards. We should be the ones getting the condolences: "I'm a Patriots fan, but man, it really sucks to be you."

Doing what's right

Too often in sports, we dwell on the shortcomings of referees. But I'd like to take a moment to remind fans that a ref has an extremely difficult job. We drop them in a thick tangle of limbs -- limbs that collide, pull and grab -- and ask them to correctly identify a single violation in a fraction of a second. And we ask them to do this in a hostile arena in front of a loud, angry and boorish throng of shirtless assholes.

So it's especially nice when you have a chance to congratulate a ref for doing what's right. With a little over three minutes to go in Saturday's game against BYU (AP ranked 15), Washington lined up on their own 25 and eyeballed a confident defense and a 7 point deficit. Jake Locker (203 yards passing, 67 yards rushing and 4 total TDs) and a fleet of freshman receivers put together a dramatic 14 play drive to bring them to BYU's 3. First and goal: fade route right, perfect pass but better coverage. Second and goal: fade route left to the tight end - bad pass. On third down, Washington spread its offense and ran a QB draw. Locker stumbled laterally about 10 yards, broke two tackles and stretched into the endzone. BYU 28- Washington 27.

This is when things got out of hand.

Locker jumped up, tossed the ball behind his back and jumped into the arms of the nearest husky. He continued in this tasteless manner for nearly 5 full seconds. A proud BYU defense was helpless - they were forced to watch this gratuitous display of joy.

I, as a sports fan, was disgusted.

Thankfully, someone stepped up. The ref called unsportsmanlike conduct for excessive celebration and pushed the huskies extra point attempt back 15 yards. BYU blocked the extra point, Washington fell to 0-2 and the integrity of college football was preserved. We can't allow this unabashed camaraderie to go unchecked, and I'd like to take this moment to thank the ref for standing up and doing what's right.

How to Stop LeBron

Nothing to do with Seattle, but the basketball fan portion of my brain is somehow still in tact. Not sure how that wasn't lost in the settlement as well... maybe that's what we got for the basketball inflating machine?

Anyway, those who managed to catch the Redeem Team's impressive run at this year's Olympics (and weren't stymied by the USA network's unfathomably daft decision to air fucking ping-pong over Greece v. USA), had to be impressed by BronBron. In 24 minutes a game, he averaged 15.5 points, 5 boards, almost 4 assists, 2.3 steals and 1 block. He shot 60% from the field, including 46% from 3 (46.4% to be precise, which is 2 tenths higher than Kobe's field goal percentage... but I digress).

Without exaggeration, he was unguardable. As true hoop put it, Argentina switched to zone in the gold medal game to goad Kobe into chucking threes and avoid "LeBron James and his freight train of destruction at the rim." This slowed LeBron down, but didn't stop him.

So how do you stop him? Well, apparently with a few variations on the old Larry Bird behind the backboard shot and a granny shot.

David Kalb, famed nobody, beats LeBron James at HORSE. Twice. From the LATimes website:

Are you ready for some football?

The NFL kicks off tonight. Here's a little gift for fantasy football fans.