Bill Simmons Gets It Backwards

From his reader mailbag:

Q: Brady's out. That really sucks. But it could be worse -- you could
be a Seattle sports fan. Let me break it down for you: The Mariners
are struggling through one of their worst seasons ever. Our Sonics,
the only team to win a professional title in Seattle, moved the team
to Okla-friggin-homa and stuck us with the Storm. And the Seahawks --
in Holmgren's final year, mind you -- are now without their TOP FOUR
RECEIVERS! Imagine losing Moss, Welker, Gaffney AND Kelley Washington.
Plus our quarterback is having back problems (including rumors of
bulging discs), and our best running back left last week's game with
an injury. Of course, a 6-10 record might win our division, which
means we get to lose in Round 1. Oh, and the travesty that was the
excessive celebration call on Washington's Jake Locker. But on the
bright side … well, I give up. Be thankful you don't live in Seattle.
-- Dan Gomez, Seattle

SG: I have to say, that made me feel a little better. Maybe the good
people of Seattle should form an organization called "It Could Be
Worse," in which they send e-mails to suddenly traumatized sports fans
from other cities to talk them off the ledge.

He's got it precisely backwards. We should be the ones getting the condolences: "I'm a Patriots fan, but man, it really sucks to be you."