Huskies Football: Coming Soon to a Theater Near You

UW has released a video to get us pumped up for the new era of Huskies football. It's your basic action-movie trailer: fast cuts, speeding graphics, and a shrieking orchestral score only slightly less bombastic than Carmina Burana.

The quote from Sarkisian is pretty good, though maybe they could've done a bit more judicious editing so he didn't start by saying: "This is 2008." Well, yes. It is.

What do you think, fellow SGBers? Are you ready for some non-losing football?

Seahawks Crashing

We interrupt this broadcast of the Ty Willingham Death Watch to bring you this breaking news: the Seahawks might be worse than the Huskies. And as I'm watching Mike Holmgren's Monday press conference, I see no indication things will get better.

The crushing 44-6 loss to the Giants was all-encompassing. New York outgained Seattle 523-187, the defense missed tackles and looked generally meek, and the offense couldn't do anything. The Dice Game called this one: the Seahawks, in a crucial contest they had two weeks to prepare for, wilted early and often.

Holmgren is saying things like, "This is the same group of guys we had last year. We just played badly," and "We'll keep doing the things we've doing." Really? Playing matador defense and not protecting the QB are what you're going to keep doing? News conferences are notorious for being bland, but Holmgren's platitudes indicate either a delusion that the Seahawks can just turn it on (unlikely) or a lack of answers to what's wrong here (more likely).

The Hawks can't rely on coasting to a title in the NFL's worst division any more. They now look like the third-best team in the NFC West. The Cardinals crushed the previously-undefeated Bills and the 49ers were game against the Patriots, and they've already beaten the Seahawks here. This is a dead team walking. Luckily, the Seattle Mist start play in less than a year.

A New Game in Town

As the light rain picked up, practice devolved into a slick mess. The slippery-when-wet balls bounced off tender hands and lacquered nails. Several went down on the lush carpet. The coach interceded: "When you catch the ball, hold your hands away from your face, away from your boobs. Boobs can't be a help."

That's how this welcome new ray of light on Seattle's dark sports landscape unfolded this morning. 54 women turned out at Green Lake to try out for the Seattle Mist. It's an expansion team in the Lingerie Football League, which will hold Lingerie Bowl VI during halftime of Super Bowl XLIII. The Mist start play next September against the likes of the San Diego Seduction and the Dallas Desire. As the name suggests, this isn't your grandpappy's chick football league; the players basically wear lingerie with pads. And if today's practice is any indication, there's going to be some hot action.

Most of the women looked the part, if not played it. They were "dressed" in short shorts, sports bras and tank tops. Their football skills were less evident. Coaches put them through receiving drills -- button hooks, fades and quick slants ("2-step slant, don't look back at the quarterback. Bam, bam and turn around!") -- a passing tutorial and defensive paces. No previous football experience was necessary, and it showed. Thank god it showed.

"How many of you know what a running back is?" About five hands went up. No matter. It's hard to describe in print what it's like to see attractive women carrying the pigskin and pinballing off tackling dummies. Suffice it to say that if you haven't seen it, you haven't lived.

Five-minute water break: "Stay loose. We don't want any hamstring pulls."

The players will be paid, but organizers won't say how much. Whatever the amount, the women are pumped and discipline apparently won't be a problem. A good-looking blonde named Alicia McLaughlin, channeling the Cincinnati Bengals, said, "I hope this will keep me out of trouble. I have no problem going to work reeking of vodka, but I would take this seriously."

Almost as many salivating guys showed up for the tryout as women. One dude was overheard saying, "They should start a fantasy football league for this." Another intoned, "If Osama bin Laden could see this, there would be no more terrorism."

The casting call for some teams has been huge. About 1,200 showed up to try out for the Los Angeles Temptation, and skirmishes broke out, according to Heather Thiesen, talent director for Hollywood-based Horizon Productions, which is running the show. She says Seattle was picked to get a team because it's a good football market. Some spectators disagree. "This is better than UW football," one guy noted. He added, "You trade one set of girls for another."