Seattle's Got No Balls -- For Snow Removal

I apologize ahead of time for posting a non-sports related topic on a sports blog, but this is a pressing matter and all the Seattle teams still suck. It's now been five days since the last and biggest in a series of snowstorms here, and side streets are still more rutted than a ranch road. Granted, it doesn't snow much here, but the city has been undone by more than its inexperience dealing with the "white stuff." We're also suffering from a typical case of Seattle pansiness.

The Times got to the heart of the matter earlier this week in this article, and the question still remains: why doesn't the city use salt on the roads? Amazingly, Seattle equips its 27 snowplows with rubber blades, purposely trying to pack things down. (Portland has about 50 plows --another transportation realm where the Rose City beats us.) So let me get this straight: you're sending out snow PLOWS that you know are just going to pack down the snow, and you're happy with that? Really? That's like a coach announcing before a game that he just wants his team not to get blown out: "Look, we're going to give almost our all -- not 110%, but maybe 68% -- and I hope we just lose by 10 points," he would go on to say.

Salt is used with much success in other parts of the country, but the city refuses to use it because it can harm salmon. Again, let me get this straight: salt might run off into streams that drain into Puget Sound. Then the salmon would be like, "Hey, is that salt that I taste? Damn, I'm swimming back to the ocean, where it's less...um...salty." But the state DOT uses salt and the city uses sand and chemical de-icer. So what is gained here? I'm sure the salmon love the chemicals from the de-icer. And at least Seattle can say Puget Sound is no brinier because of the Emerald City -- that's all the state's salt degrading the pristine waters of the Sound.

Then there's this article positing that sand might be more harmful to fish than salt. So Seattle's environmental sensibility might not just be ridiculous in this case, but also flat-out wrong. Then Mayor Greg Nickels has the gall to give the city a grade of "B" in its efforts to clear the roads. I'd love to see the road leading to his house, because he clearly doesn't live on my street.

The streets are so bad, KING 5 had to Get Jesse! on the case. What's enlightening about this piece (besides the fact Jesse is about to have an aneurysm) is that you need to call the city to request a plow to clear your street. A freaking request? Isn't keeping streets clear part of the city's job? Last I checked, I didn't have to call Seattle to pick up my garbage, although at this point maybe I do. I suppose I should also request to have electricity in my apartment, and water in my toilet.

Look, it's not like you'd have to use salt in Seattle 20 times a winter. If they'd spread it around several times the last week, we'd be out of this mess and probably wouldn't have another salt-requiring storm again for 10 years. Even more maddening is that the city actually has salt on hand, but won't use it. And let's not make this out like only anti-environmental red states use animal-killing salt. Such blue enclaves as New York, Vermont and Maine use salt with impunity and success, and my travels there have been smoother because of it. Granted, I wouldn't drive my old '57 Chevy on a salt-treated road, but that's only because I don't have chains that fit the whitewalls.

Seattle makes a lot of noise about being a world-class city, and it's obviously got a lot going for it. But it has absolutely fallen down on the job, and we're all falling on our asses because of it. But no matter, this will take care of itself. The snow is already turning to rain and that will wash all of this away. But not before we get flooded streets from melting snow left over by a half-assed cleanup made even more impotent by misplaced priorities.